Call me boring but Sunday is one of my favourite days (after Friday & Saturday of course). Lie ins, movies, roast dinner and spending quality time with friends and family. What’s not to like? Yesterday I spent my Sunday just the way I like, catching up with the girls and after a whole three months of not seeing one and other, we definitely had a lot to catch up on! Queue the main topic of conversation… boys.
Now to any guys out there reading this, please don’t get all egotistical and think that women just talk about men 24/7, because that’s not true. But I’d be lying if I were to say that you don’t take up a good chunk of our time. We’re usually either complaining about you, trying to work out if you fancy us, trying to work out if we fancy you, or simply just checking that hottie out from across the room. Now, as we sat with our cake and coffee- fresh orange juice for me because I refuse to fully enter adulthood and be a coffee-lover just yet- we jumped straight to our favourite topic.
I started first and as a single girl of several months I told of dates (both good and bad) and men I have my eye on. Since our last catch up I haven’t suffered too much heartache so we jumped over to the others pretty quickly. Now, I won’t bore you with tales of break ups because one, it’s private and two, you’ve probably been there a million times before. However, as the conversations unfolded I began to realise a little more than I thought coffee and cake ever could make me realise. What came to me was that these women are amazing, independent, successful females and not to mention absolutely beautiful, yet at some point (if not more than once) they have been made to feel inferior by the person who was supposed to love them the most.
Each of us could agree that during previous relationships we had become somebody who we are not. A lesser version of ourselves, perhaps less sociable, less confident, even less ambitious. We had allowed a man to dull our shine and that’s just not acceptable.
I’m no love guru and I won’t pretend that I am, however I have been through enough boyfriend drama to offer some pretty decent advice and although it’s not always so easy to see- the term love blind springs to mind- it’s important that you realise a few things.
One. Don’t let anybody bring you down. If your partner doesn’t add to your life for the better, what are you doing?
Two. Pain is temporary when it comes to break ups. He/she might feel like the love of your life and there’s nobody above them but you’ve split up for a reason and one day you will see why it wasn’t meant to be.
Three. It’s OK to admit that you’re not OK. That’s what friends and family are for and the sooner they make you realise how amazing you are, the better.
This isn’t an anti-men post. Although I am currently sat writing this wearing a t-shirt that reads, ‘Fuck the boys club’, I’m not saying men are bad. We love you, boys, we really do. But sometimes we need to acknowledge that men aren’t the be all and end all of our lives. We can and will shine with or without you, so choose wisely whether you’re ready to be a part of that or not. I guess what I’m trying to say is, whether you’re in a relationship, single or it’s complicated, you are amazing. You can achieve whatever you put your mind to and as long as you keep a clear sight of who you are, everything, be that business or love, will happen as and when it is meant to. So put on your fave outfit accompanied with a big smile and get ready to go smash that business meeting, watch the sunset, hit the cocktail bar or simply sit laughing with your favourite people. Grab life with both hands and don’t let anybody dull your shine.